Wishing Pearl Page 29

  Let’s do it. Okay? Please.

  Love, Livvie

  Olivia folded the paper and slipped it into an envelope out of the stationery pack Mom had given her. As she licked the glue and sealed the stamped envelope, she realized it was her first handwritten letter, other than all the thank-you notes Mom had made Olivia write when she was little. Hmm. She’d almost forgotten about being forced to write a note to her relatives or friends’ parents after every gift, every trip to the movies, every dinner out. She’d hated doing it, but Mom still made her. Something else she’d been right about.

  Olivia slipped from the room into the brightly lit hallway and let the door click into place behind her before heading down the stairs. The sconces cast eerie shadows on the walls of the rustic lower level. Finally at her destination, she pulled the handle and held her letter over the slot in the mailbox.

  Please let Mom take this letter well. Whatever Your will is for our future, I trust You, Lord. Amen.

  She dropped the letter and let the door slam back into place. Olivia stepped away but hurried back to pull the lever and make sure the letter had fallen. It was gone. Satisfied, she wiped her hands on her pajama pants and turned to head back to her room.

  Olivia screamed as she felt a light touch on her shoulder. She whirled around with her hands raised to ward off an intruder.

  Kira.

  Chapter 34

  Don’t touch me, Kira.” Olivia forced power into her dark eyes. “You don’t want to mess with me.”

  “Don’t be crazy. I’m not going to hurt you.” Kira looked down. “I just heard someone leave your room and hoped it might be you.”

  “Why? So you could follow me and torment me with your insults? There’s nothing you could say that will hurt me anymore, Kira.” Olivia held out her arms. “Give it your best shot.”

  Kira closed her eyes and sighed. “That’s not why I’m here.”

  “Great. Then we’re through here.” Olivia lifted her chin and stormed away.

  Kira followed right behind. “Wait. I need to talk to you.”

  “I have nothing to say to you.” Just keep walking. Kira meant nothing but trouble. But what could she want to say? Didn’t everyone deserve a chance? Olivia slowed to a stroll, but she didn’t look back. “Talk.”

  “I … I’m sorry.”

  Putting on the brakes completely, Olivia came to a dead stop. “You’re sorry? For what, exactly?” Breaking my oboe? Breaking my heart?

  “For all of it.” Kira lowered her eyes.

  Not getting off that easy, honey. “What’s all of it, Kira? What exactly are you apologizing for?” As if she was really repentant about anything.

  “I broke your oboe.”

  Duh. “Why did you do it?” Besides being cold and heartless. “And why are you telling me now?”

  “I guess I did it because I was jealous. I … I’m sort of used to getting all the attention—most popular girl in school, gymnast, you know. Everyone was making such a big deal over you.”

  “Everyone?” Olivia raised one eyebrow.

  “Well, especially Justin.” Kira looked at Olivia for the first time. “I wanted to hurt you because of some things that happened. But none of it was your fault.”

  “I don’t know what to say.” Olivia crossed her arms over her chest. What did Kira expect? Everything was supposed to be fine all of a sudden? Just because she sort of apologized? “Do you know how much that oboe cost?”

  “I do now. I didn’t then. Not that cheaper would have made it okay.” She looked down again. “There’s more.” Kira wrung her hands until her knuckles turned white. “It’s about Justin.” Her eyes welled up with tears. “We’re not back together. Actually, we never were together. Justin’s too smart—too good—for someone like me. He never fell for it. Not even for a second.”

  “But people said you guys were a thing. That you were like boyfriend-girlfriend.”

  Kira shook her head. “That’s what I wanted everyone to believe, but that’s not what happened. Justin spent a lot of time with me, that much is true. But it wasn’t because he had any interest in me that way. He just saw me as a sort of personal mission. He saw through me and knew I wasn’t for real.”

  Ah. Much like he’d tried to get Olivia to stop smoking. Was she only a personal mission? Someone else for Justin to fix? “Okay, so what about that picture you took and sent to Ben? Did you really believe that Justin was smoking that cigarette?”

  “No. Of course not.” Kira bit her lip.

  “You could have gotten him in a lot of trouble. Thankfully, Ben knows his son too well for that.” Now for the big question. “But what about me?”

  “What about you?”

  “I’m guessing Justin never said that about my scar? That it was horrid?” Olivia realized she was tracing the line on her cheek and jerked her hand away.

  Kira shook her head. “No. He didn’t say that.” She took a deep breath. “In fact …”

  Olivia waited a moment. “In fact, what?”

  She raised her eyes and looked at Olivia. “He didn’t say it was horrid. In fact, he told me that he loved that about you. Let’s see, how did he put it? Oh, right. He said it made you vulnerable and reminded him that even though you’re so strong, you’ve been through a lot and you’re fragile. He said he felt the need to protect you. Or something like that.”

  Olivia let tears course down her cheeks. “You hurt me when you told me what you did about my scar. But you know what else? You hurt Justin, because I pushed him away after that. Just like you wanted.” Olivia shuddered at the memory of the look on Justin’s face when the dining room door closed on him the last time she saw him.

  “I know.” Kira hung her head.

  “That proves you never loved him, Kira. The only person you’ve loved up until now is yourself. You’ve forgotten something though.”

  Kira looked up, her eyes rimmed with tears but sparkling with hope.

  “You’ve forgotten that Jesus loves you, too. He has your back. You don’t need to do all these manipulations to make life go well for you. You just need to follow Him.”

  Kira nodded. “I just don’t get that whole thing.”

  “You need to do what Ben told me to do.”

  “What?” Kira seemed eager, like she’d do anything. Like Olivia had felt when she came to the end of herself. She and Kira had something in common after all.

  “Say, ‘I trust You, Lord,’ every hour until you feel like you do trust Him.”

  “That’s it?” Kira looked skeptical, just like Olivia had.

  Olivia smiled and nodded. “That’s it.”

  Ben stepped around the corner. “Well, there’s a tad more to it than that, but you’ve done a fantastic job at getting her started, Olivia.” He turned to Kira. “I heard everything. We’re going to need to talk—a lot’s been going on with you the last few months, Kira. It’s time to get to the bottom of it.” He slipped his arm across her shoulders and steered her to his office.

  Kira cast one more glance at Olivia; then her head hung low in defeat as she walked away.

  “Hey, Kira.”

  Kira turned to look at Olivia. Her eyes were wide. “I forgive you.”

  Chapter 35

  Happy birthday, dear Olivia. Happy birthday to you.” Olivia closed her eyes and wished for a real family. She wished for a future of love and happiness—peace and security. She opened them and blew out the seventeen candles with one breath—the breeze helped. She loved having a June birthday so she could have her cake outside as had been tradition since she was a toddler. The smell of spring was always in the air—even in Chicago, but especially this year in Colorado. The trees were covered with leaves, and the birds chirped in the boughs. Who’d have thought she’d turn into such a lover of the outdoors?

  Her birthday. That meant she’d spent every major holiday alone at Diamond that year. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and her birthday without any family. But it was strangely okay somehow. She gazed up at the Rocky
Mountain landscape. I hope I never have to leave.

  Patty and Tammy cut the horse-shaped chocolate cake and passed out Styrofoam bowls of vanilla ice cream. Olivia almost turned hers down because of the hour she’d have to spend on the treadmill later, but then she thought of what Tricia had put herself through. Life was too short, and Olivia wasn’t about to spend it worrying about her weight to the point of not having a piece of her own birthday cake. So she reached for a big piece of the mane with extra frosting.

  She tried to force herself not to watch what Tricia did when offered a piece of cake, but she couldn’t help herself. Phew. Tricia selected a small piece and just a dab of ice cream. A treat without going overboard. That meant she didn’t intend to visit the restroom after she ate it. The best gift Olivia could receive for her birthday.

  Ben and Alicia burst through the doors and strode across the yard to the picnic area. “Happy birthday, Olivia!” He put his arm around his wife and beamed at Olivia. “We have a big surprise for you. Let’s see. What’s the one thing you’d want to do on your special day?”

  That was easy. “I’d love several hours to ride Cinnamon up the mountain.”

  “Well, that’s fine. But I mean something you really want, but wouldn’t think possible.” Ben grinned.

  Alicia’s eye sparkled. “Think big.”

  Ugh. Seemed like they had done something special for her. What if she guessed wrong? Olivia hated to hurt their feelings by not coming up with the right answer. “The only other thing I can think of definitely isn’t possible, so I don’t want to say it.”

  “Try me.” Ben folded his arms across his chest and gave her an I’ve got a secret grin.

  He asked for it. “I’d love to be with my mom.”

  Ben put two fingers between his lips and let out a loud, shrill whistle.

  The patio door swung open and there she stood, right on the deck.

  Olivia dropped her fork full of cake on the picnic table, and it bounced onto the grass, sending crumbs and frosting flying everywhere. “Mom? How? Did you?” She turned to Ben.

  He shook his head. “Justin did it all. He set it up—with permission, of course.”

  Mom stood rooted to her spot, her eyes wide. “Liv?” She opened her arms.

  Olivia ran to her and fell into the embrace she’d needed for years. She laid her head on her mother’s shoulder.

  “Happy birthday, Livvie Love. Everything is going to be okay.” Mom pulled back a little, put her hands on each side of Olivia’s face, and looked into her eyes. “I love you.”

  Olivia crumpled. The years of fighting to be strong, begging to be noticed, hiding from the pain … they all washed away in the final wave of God’s healing.

  It was finished.

  On her way out to the stable to saddle up two horses, Olivia saw a bent-over figure in the garden. She stopped walking and just watched. His arms bulged as he pulled at the wire fencing. The sprigs of vegetables that poked up from the dirt were about to attract the rabbits and other hungry animals. Time to fence them out.

  Justin wiped the sweat off his forehead. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bandanna that he folded and tied around his head to keep the sweat from dripping into those gorgeous blue eyes of his.

  “Need some help?”

  Startled, Justin lost his grip on the fencing, and it sprang back into the tight roll he’d been fighting against.

  Olivia winced. “Sorry. Here, let me hold the end and you unroll.”

  Silently, Justin followed her instructions without looking into her eyes.

  Olivia stood still while Justin pulled his side around the post he’d already placed. “I think I’ve got it now. Thanks.” He took the end she held with one hand and grabbed her hand with the other. “Olivia. It’s been over a month since we last spoke—it’s been so hard to be around here knowing you’re avoiding me. I don’t know what I said to offend you, but I’m sorry. I wouldn’t hurt you for anything. Ever.”

  “I know that now.” Olivia’s chin quivered. “The truth came out eventually. It was all Kira’s work. She came to me and apologized, believe it or not.” She looked into Justin’s eyes. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t believe in you. You should be angry with me, not me with you.”

  Justin shook his head. “Liv, you probably have good reason to assume that people will betray you. I won’t. Ever. But it will take you time to learn that and believe it.” He released her hand.

  Olivia nodded. “I hope not too much time—I don’t want you to run off on me.”

  He held her gaze. “Never.”

  “Olivia? Where are you?” Mom called from the deck.

  “I’m out here, Mom. You all freshened up? I’m just getting saddles on the horses. Come on out.” Olivia looked at Justin. “Thank you for bringing her here.”

  He winked. “No problem.”

  Mom approached them just as Justin turned back to his work.

  Olivia finished cinching Buttercup’s saddle for Mom and then mounted Cinnamon. “Ready to go?”

  Olivia tugged lightly on the reins and turned to see if Mom was following her up the trail. “You doing okay on Buttercup?”

  “Oh yes. She and I are getting along beautifully. She’s a darling.” Mom leaned down and patted the horse’s neck.

  “She really is.” Olivia pointed up the trail. “Just beyond that ridge is a clearing. We’ll let them wander a bit in there. They like to explore.” She flicked her reins and tapped her heels into Cinnamon’s side to get her moving a bit faster. No real need though. The horse knew exactly where to go.

  The sun beat its warmth down on her head, but Olivia felt the cool mountain air on her face. The blend was invigorating. Snow melted and fell from the trees while green grass poked from the earth, searching for sunlight and nourishment. The promise of spring. So much hope.

  Olivia reined Cinnamon to a stop when they reached the clearing. She closed her eyes, breathed in the fresh air, and let it cleanse her lungs. “I miss Daddy.”

  “I miss him, too.” Mom lifted her face to the sunshine. “Life would have been so different.”

  “I’ll never forget the day of his funeral. I think about it all the time.” Olivia patted Cinnamon’s neck.

  “Yeah. I wish I remembered more of it, but I fainted and spent most of it in the foyer getting medical attention.”

  Olivia’s jaw dropped. “What? You fainted? That’s where you were?”

  “Where did you think I was?”

  “I just always wondered why you didn’t come to me while I was crying on the floor in front of his casket. I felt so alone.” Olivia turned her head away so Mom wouldn’t see the tears. “I’d just lost my daddy, and all I wanted was my mommy.”

  Mom gasped. “Liv, I didn’t know you felt that way. I had no idea. You’ve been carrying that all these years?”

  Olivia nodded. “I thought you didn’t care.”

  “Oh, sweetie. No. It kills me that you’ve been hanging on to that—that you ever had to wonder.” Mom reached out and took Olivia’s hand and gazed through the trees at the blue sky above. “It’s all going to be different now. Do you believe that?”

  “I do.” Deep breath. “Mom, I mailed you a letter a few weeks ago. Did you get it?”

  She smiled and nodded. “I was waiting for you to bring that up.”

  Olivia nodded but said nothing, hoping Mom would make the next move.

  “Congratulations on the scholarship, Liv. That’s amazing.”

  Olivia twisted the reins between her fingers. “Thanks. We talked about that on the phone already.” What else? And why hadn’t she brought the letter up before?

  “I agree with everything you said—church, counseling, job. You’re right about all of it.”

  “So you’ve gone to church?”

  “I did go Sunday, but I’ve decided not to get involved.”

  Olivia’s shoulders slumped. “Why not, Mom?” Nothing would change if she didn’t start with the basics. Church was step
one.

  Mom’s eyes twinkled. “Wouldn’t it make more sense to just start going to church here?”

  “Do you mean …? You’re going to move here? I get to stay in Colorado?” Olivia’s eyes lit up. School. Friends. Mountains. Church. And Justin. Her heart swelled as the blessings poured into her mind. As long as Mom really meant it.

  Mom nodded. “Why not? It’s not like my choices have led us anywhere worth hanging on to. Why not a fresh start? And Liv, you deserve this shot at a future. When I think of all you’ve been through—” She took a shuddering breath and wiped her eyes.

  “Thanks, Mom.” Olivia held her gaze. “It really means a lot to me.” She looked up at the sky and let the sun bathe her face. “You know, it’s not just this place I love.” She spread her arms at the expanse of the outdoors. “It’s also that place. Diamond Estates. Ben, Alicia, and the counselors are doing amazing work with the girls who come here. It’s so sacrificial. I want to live like that. I’d love to be a counselor here after I finish school—or do something like this.”

  “I could see you doing that, Liv. I mean, you sure won’t get rich.” She chuckled.

  Money. Wealth. Stuff. Why did her mother always have to go there? Some things never changed.

  Mom went on. “But I know now that riches aren’t even close to being important to the big picture. It took me awhile, but I figured it out.”

  Olivia gasped and looked up and down Mom’s body. “Wait! Mom. Are you wearing off the rack?”

  “Come on, now. You can’t be serious.” Mom looked down at her clothes in horror. “Does it look like I am?” Her eyes blazed with panic.

  “I’m just teasing you.” Apparently the materialism would be tackled with baby steps. Olivia smiled. Some things never did change—but that didn’t have to be all bad.

  “I want you to know something, Liv. I’m putting most of Charles’s money and investments in a trust for you.”

  Olivia’s stomach turned at the mention of his name, and she opened her mouth to protest. She didn’t want a dime of his money.